Left Unspoken
by Prythians105
Summary: ONE-SHOT FANGxLIGHTNING Lightning stays up pondering every word she wishes she could say to Fang, knowing she probably never will...


**Left Unspoken**

**Hey, I'd just like to thank everyone who reviewed my first ever fanfic entitled Doubts. I was plesantly surprised with all the positive reviews! (I was especially pleased that some of you were impressed with my writing ability considering my age. I'm only 14.) **

**Well, this is my second fanfic and it is Fang/Lightning pairing from Lightning's POV, in her mind where she contemplates all the things she wishes she could tell Fang. Oh, and I realize some may consider this OOC for Lightning but I don't, so I guess you could say that's what I was aiming for...kinda... Anyways, Please Review! Enjoy!**

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"If I could be any part of you, I'd be your tears. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips" -Unknown

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How do you describe that four letter word that hides in the most unlikely places, around the most unlikely people, consuming the most unsuspecting fools at the most inopportune times? The word that can make your heart race faster than a cheetah on steroids. You know, the one that can make you smile on the most pitiful day of your life, make you stay up all night because now even your happiest dreams can't hold a candle to your reality… The one that can make the happiness of someone else the most important thing in the world to you, even if you play no part in that happiness… How _do _you describe such a domineering sentiment? How do you put a label on love?… The answers fairly simple really…you don't. Even better yet…you _can't. _

Sounds great, right? Yeah, I should know cause it's what I dream about day in day out. _That's_ the best kind of love…the one that's shared, a love unbound. What I feel for you is the most painful kind…the kind that can _never _be expressed, the one that lives in your head tormenting you always, and never, _ever_ going away. So, now this is how I spend my every waking hour…pondering words left unspoken.

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I don't know when it happened. Perhaps it was the first time I saw you, but I was just too dense to realize it then… Or, maybe it was the first time I saw you smile, or the first time we fought side by side on the field of battle. It's impossible to know for sure… But, none of that even matters now. What matters is that I love you…

I love your smile, I love your laugh. I love the way my heart melts when you look at me because I know that in that single moment in time, no matter how long it may have been, I had crossed your mind. But, what I love most are the times when were together…just us… and whether it be scouting, sparring, or simply being near each other that I feel like nothing in the world matters, like nothing in the world has _ever_ mattered except _that_ moment. It's moments like these that you just want to wrap up in a pretty package and hold onto forever… But, nothing can be so perfect…not if you don't feel it too, and _that_ is the most painful part…

I hate the way I could never hate you. I hate the way you may never know just how much of me belongs to you. And, the way I never know whether to smile because I can call you a friend…,or cry, because that's all you'll ever be... But, most of all I hate how you make me hate myself…because I am a coward. A coward who never even _knew_ the meaning of fear, until she met you…

You'd think a soldier would be fearless…God, if only that were true… I used to think I knew what fear was. I thought fear was risking your life everyday on the job…what Snow should feel about the consequences of ever hurting Serah, but no… Fear is that gut-wrenching feeling I get every time I look at you, afraid that if I hold my gaze too long you may notice… Fear is every time you brush past me...a whimper just barely silenced from escaping my lips. It's every time I talk to you...the fear of losing you…. But how can you lose something that was never even yours?... Fear's what holds me back when you and I are together, talking off trivial things, because all of the words I really want to say are on the tip of my tongue, unable to go any further. But, it's not what _I_ want to say that I fear…it's what _you_ would say, or wouldn't say, if I ever told you I love you…

So, that leaves me where I am now. Alone with my thoughts and my fears…asking myself which is worse? Living with telling you everything and wishing I hadn't...or living with telling you nothing and wishing I had... Maybe some things _are_ better left unspoken...

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**Uhh...I wasn't going to mention this cause it's well...embarassing...but this story was inspired by and practically written entirely from personal experience....and just applied to the best pairing EVER! Yeah I know I'm a hopeless romantic, you needn't tell me... Anyways! I hope you liked it! Probably OOC but meh, who knows. **

**Pleeease Review! After this I'm gonna try to get a longer story started, but I have state testing this week so I don't know how long it'll be til I get anything posted. =( **


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